Eh. Today's Friday, thank god. I don't think I can take any more of this week. Plus, this weekend I am going to perform my official duties as a fashion guru.
I've decided, as a means of venting, to provide a short list of things that have irked/perplexed me this week. Why? I don't know, nor do I care. Because I feel like it! If this makes me a whiny bitch, so be it.
1.) Asshole who put his umbrella down on the only available seat of the train: Even if no one decrepit or handicapped was in your immediate vicinity, this was not an indication that the seat was any less desired! You're lucky I didn't take your golf (insert crude joke about sinking putts here)umbrella and start practicing my swing for my debut with the company softball team(which I am sure will catapult me to instant stardom).
2.) Why don't Randy and Simon stage an intervention for Paula? And Ryan, while they're at it??
3.) Peeps. Not only are these things horribly noxious, they also remind me of the fact that my aunts called male genitalia "peepers" with their kids. Christ. No wonder children grow up sexually confused these days.
4.) Why, in this glorious city that is Boston can I not locate the following items: a.) women's Ed Hardy Sneakers and b.) organic vodka? It's a travesty, people!
5.) Lastly, no, I do NOT want a free trip to "paradise." I think, deluded telemarketer who will not stop calling me, that your definition of paradise and mine are slightly different. You see, I do not think that touring swamp land that is "destined for greatness as the next big thing in timeshares" while listening to a speech in an industrial gym with no windows about how to get in on this "exciting new venture" is really up my alley. But thanks for the lovely offer.
You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment